


No time at all

by dataantidote



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spiderman - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Ignoring Feelings, Mental Health Issues, Overworking, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter parker needs a break, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Sleep Deprivation, Sorry Not Sorry, Truth, mental health
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-12 03:14:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dataantidote/pseuds/dataantidote
Summary: Every inch of his body was longing for the comfort of his bed, the warmth of the sheets and the promise of a peaceful sleep. At the same time, every cell in his brain knew that it was highly unlikely that any of these wishes would be fulfilled.





	No time at all

The sound of a loud crash had Peter on his feet immediately.  
Just a few seconds ago he had lowered himself onto his bed after finishing his homework. It had taken him three hours to finish writing the papers and doing the research that was required of him.  
He was tired and worn out and probably not at his prime right now, but when duty called Spiderman had to answer. 

Breathing heavily, Peter fell back into bed about three hours later.  
As he wiped the sweat off his forehead and threw his suit back into his closet his body was already shutting down, every inch of him longing for the comfort of his bed, the warmth of the sheets and the promise of a peaceful sleep. At the same time, every cell in his brain knew that it was highly unlikely that any of these wishes would be fulfilled. 

Even before Peters' head touched the pillow he had begun dozing off, his body finally allowing him to rest, but his mind not yet ready to do the same.  
The time passed but Peters mind was still at full alarm.  
Calming down after being out on duty as Spiderman always proved difficult, all the adrenaline and the things he had seen were never easy to process.  
It kept him awake for hours on end almost every night.

So, Peter avoided looking on the clock that decorated his bedside table, knowing fully well that he would only be disappointed upon seeing how much, or more how little, time he still had left before he had to get up for school again.  
Getting enough sleep had been an impossible task for quite some time now and the words "healthy sleeping schedule" made him laugh with a mix of frustration and hopelessness. 

Just at the moment the warm slumber finally embraced him, his alarm was already going off again telling him to get up.  
Or at least that was what it felt like. 

Trying to open his eyes was difficult. It felt almost like they were glued together. It just wasn´t meant to be but he had to get up eventually. He assumed that he had gotten about 3 hours of sleep last night.  
Not that bad, he had definitely gone outside on less before.  
Whenever he calculated the hours of sleep he had gotten the previous night in his head he tried not to think about the article he once read about how much sleep was healthy for a teenager and in comparison how much he was getting at night. 

Yawning, Peter had to stop his mind from wandering off. His eyes were still heavy but he knew he had to get up now or else he could never escape the warmth of his bed.  
Sighing, he pulled the covers back and set a foot on his bedroom floor.  
Well, technically more onto a pile of papers. His bedroom floor had vanished underneath papers, clothes and mugs.  
To his luck Aunt May had not checked up on his room in the last couple of days or else she would have probably suffered a stroke by now.  
The explanation is easy, when you don't spend more than 5 to 10 minutes in your room between different activities and fall in an unconscious like sleep whenever you come in reach of your bed, the mess ensues quickly.  
And there had been no time for him to clean up anyway. There was no time to care for himself anymore either.

Between his duties of being Spiderman, attending high school and keeping somewhat healthy relationships with his friends, Peter had let his own health down.  
Since the fateful day on which he had gained his powers he had been stronger in many ways but also weaker than ever in others.  
His physical strength was excellent, his mental health was not quite as such.  
But between all the things he had to do every day, he had no time at all to concern himself with the worrying decline of his mental health. 

Most days he was able to push aside the feeling of uneasiness that rested upon his shoulders at all times anyway, so no big deal.  
Only one he had listened into himself, trying to make out the source of these strange feelings. It had felt like something was restraining him, trying to keep him from being fully happy and content with his life and current situation.  
It also made his chest buzz in an uncomfortable way that he did not like. And that was an effect he could not push aside.  
Ignoring it was easier than having to think about it. Acknowledging these feeling would have made them too real, and he had no time to deal with them anyways.  
It would go away eventually, he convinced himself.  
Over the past weeks, he had had to convince himself more frequently as his chest had tingled more and more with each day that passed.  
But it was no big deal, right?

Peter has mastered the art of pushing aside his own needs for the needs of others.  
Those were more important anyway. His life was running like clockwork and nothing was ever standing still.  
It was like he had imagined his life when he was younger, always adventurous and exciting, always busy and never boring.  
At the time he only saw the upsides of this life, but now he had it for himself and began to understand the downsides as well. 

But, while his mind was more than exhausted and in the constant state of stress level 100, Peter did not want to let it affect his appearance.  
There was only so much he could do about it, the dark circles under his eyes were visible and he could not really change anything about them, but he could do something about the way he looked otherwise. 

Although he felt like pulling out a random, comfortable hoodie and throwing it on every morning, he ignored that urge and instead got dressed the neatest he could.  
He made sure his collar was out over his sweater and his shoes were clean, it made him feel like he was at least in control of this one part of his life.  
No one would ask him uncomfortable questions about how he was feeling if he was able to keep the act up, convincing them that he was not just getting approximately three hours of sleep every night and spending his last mental energy to push aside all these unfamiliar feelings he had.

Maybe he could convince himself too. If he just kept living the lie.

Peter grabbed his homework off the floor and threw it into his backpack,  
there was no time to check, so he just hoped he had forgotten nothing,  
or at least nothing important. 

Quietly he opened the door of his room, peaking his head out to see if Aunt May was already up.  
His plan was to avoid her.  
He knew that she could tell he was exhausted and he was not keen on facing her questions and having to see the concerned look on her face.  
At least not this early in the morning. That was what he always told himself and that was what he would tell himself in the evening as well.  
That he was too tired to face Aunt May and her questions. 

In fact, he had been avoiding speaking to her for the last couple of days and he was not so stupid as to assume that his aunt had not noticed.  
He knew the confrontation was coming, it was only a matter of time till she would catch him off guard before school but as for now, she was nowhere to be seen. 

He sneaked through the kitchen and grabbed a granola bar.  
That´ll have to do it, he thought on the way to the front door.  
Fishing for his keys in his backpack, Peter felt a wave of dizziness coming onto him and clouding his view with little black spots.  
He stood still and blinked till it passed, then opened the door and shut it quietly behind himself. 

Here we go again, he thought to himself.  
Another day in the life of Peter Parker.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this quick drabble! I am grateful for every kudo and comment I might get. Please not that english is not my native language but I am trying my best :) Have a good day!


End file.
